My Wedding and M.E.

On the top of a Canadian mountain last August, 21-year-old Connie Wardale said yes to what she described as 'the easiest question I've ever been asked'. She was taken totally by surprise when her boyfriend of two years, Jack Ackers, asked her to be his wife - but when most people's minds would jump to dresses, venues and music, Connie has a bigger hurdle to consider. 

As well as living with anxiety and depression, Connie was diagnosed with the invisible illness, ME, at the age of 13. Also known as chronic fatigue syndrome, people with ME suffer from extreme tiredness, and the severity of symptoms totally varies from day to day making it very unpredictable.

‘Every day is a struggle and I wake up not knowing how I’m going to feel. It’s a lot of living with the unknown which is scary’, says Connie. ‘Everything I do I have to think about the consequences, like if I wash my hair today I probably won’t be able to do anything tomorrow as I’ll have to recover from just doing that one simple task.’

Connie requires a walking stick or wheelchair when she’ll be on her feet for extended periods of time, but sometimes needs them for simple tasks like getting around the house.

‘I don’t think people with disabilities are represented at all in the wedding industry’ explained Connie. You never see any advertising for a wedding dress with someone in a wheelchair or any mobility aids at all. In all the magazines I’ve been given at wedding fairs there hasn’t been one feature of someone with a disability.’

Following their engagement party, Connie was barely able to leave the house for three weeks because of the impact on her illness. She spent most days in bed, and said: "It was worth it, but so upsetting that I then had to suffer so much. You’d think after nearly nine years of having this illness I’d be used to the consequences of having fun, but it doesn’t get any easier."

The wedding will be held at Glebe Farm Barn in Wymondham, exactly two years on from the Jack’s proposal. Connie's illness means she needs more time to plan for such an event, taking into account days when she may not even be able to get out of bed.

The venue and church are close together, and must both be wheelchair accessible in case Connie requires it on the day. There is even a quiet area where Connie can escape for rest bite, or even sleep if she needs it - not something most brides have to consider! The day will also start later and be shorter than a usual wedding, to make the day more manageable for Connie.

"It’s such an exciting time but also very daunting’, explained Connie. Determined, she added: "I am going to get married to the love of my life, whether my illness tries to stop me or not."